Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Let It Matter

I was out on my bike this morning and got a text about a colleague's wife who died yesterday.

I heard my phone beep and stopped to read the message.  

Needless to say I took my time for the rest of the ride home. I felt the warmth of the sun on my back, the wind on my face and legs and I let the ride matter.  Gave myself to the beauty and the privilege of this moment, this day, this life.

Heard the birds chirping. Saw the trees swaying. A family in the park, people playing tennis. A father with his son. 

Suddenly the stress of my work day and the jobs ahead of me, mattered so much less than they did when I left 45 minutes ago to get some fresh air. 

A cup of tea and a ponder on my deck seems in order. 

The next day, back in my office, as I pull the curtain to welcome the light, I think about my colleague and his family and how they may be going about their life today without their loved one. A mother, a wife, a daughter, friend and all that she was to those now grieving her death.  

Now, I see my own sister, my brother when they had just died - how we were all placed in their respective houses. What we did in the busyness of preparing their bodies for the rituals of saying goodbye. 

I try to picture the house of my colleague. I have seen into his office; but no further. I remember the first and last time I met his wife.  She walked into his office during a meeting he and I were having about a job. She was vibrant, warm and friendly. That was just over a year ago. Today, she is no longer alive.